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Guest Post

John Dashfield: What’s Controlling Your Mind?

By 20th September 2019October 13th, 2019No Comments

A recent piece from John Dashfield caught my eye and really resonated with me. It’s completely obvious that what we pay attention to grows in our mind isn’t it? But how often do we lose sight of that when it comes to explaining the mood we are in? And how can that lead to you doing a disservice to those you care about most?

Here’s John’s article, slightly edited:

“Deepak Chopra said:

“What you pay attention to grows. If your attention is attracted to negative situations and emotions, then they will grow in your awareness.”

What he points out is that when we worry about things it doesn’t improve the situation; it brings more of that thinking into our minds and this informs how we behave.

This is also what prompted Daniel Goleman, psychologist and author of ‘Emotional Intelligence’ to say:

“Our worries become self-fulfilling prophecies, propelling us towards the very disaster they predict.”

So, here is a question to consider…

When you meet a potential client (or anybody else for that matter) for the first time, or you are with an existing client / friend / colleague, where do you take their attention?

Do you point their attention at the things that matter to them and centre the conversation around these things?

Or do you draw their attention to the things that preoccupy your own thinking?

It is surprising how many people do the latter (often unknowingly).

Giving your undivided attention

Kare Anderson wrote an insightful article in the Harvard Business Review titled, ‘What captures your attention controls your life’.

She makes the point that it is impossible to bond with and form a meaningful relationship with someone who can’t or won’t focus on you.

The foundation of conducting inspiring client / colleague / friend meetings is having nothing on your mind.


Because the clearer your mind, the more you see.

For instance, you become far more perceptive and intuitive to what is going on with your clients / friends / colleagues. You can sense what draws their attention and what they worry about.

And when you see it, you can help.

What greater act of service is there to your clients / friends / colleagues than helping to remove their fears and having them experience greater peace of mind?

Something that’s impossible to do if we’re preoccupied with our own thinking.”


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